How To Message Girls On Instagram | Courtney Ryan

Instagram is one of the best ways to meet people these days, especially if you’re someone that is not a fan of dating apps. I actually know a couple of guys who have slid into girls dms and now have a girlfriend because of it. So it’s a great place to meet people, and if you do it right, you can be very successful. That said, we need to figure out how to text a girl for the first time on Instagram.


I’m going to be going over the best and most efficient ways to message a girl on Instagram and hopefully get a reply, but nothing is guaranteed. If I sat here and told you, if you say this, this and this you will 100 get a reply, I would be lying to you. There is no such thing a a guaranteed way to text a girl for the first time on Instagram. But there are things that work better than others and that is what we are going to learn.

I can give you guys the tools that you need. Some conversation starters the best way to get her to reply, but remember I am not a magician. Nothing is guaranteed. So, in addition to telling you guys what you should be doing, I’m also going to tell you guys what you should not be doing just as a little friendly reminder to help increase your chances.

Number one tip this is the secret sauce. This is the best advice I can give you. My number one tip on how to text a girl for the first time on Instagram is to respond to her story. This is, without a doubt, the best and most effortless way to start a conversation with someone, because you want the conversation to feel natural and easy and not super forced or like you’re, doing an introduction or something weird. So, in my experience, the guys that I have messaged back are always the ones that respond to my story. I will also say on instagram, there’s a feature where you can set up your messages so that if someone doesn’t follow you, it has to go through a message request before it even goes into your inbox. So this can be a challenge because sometimes it’s not in your primary or general message thread and you don’t see them and you have to actually manually go into your message request to see them....

This creates a challenge because she really might not see your message, which is frustrating, especially if she’s someone with a lot of followers. I have like 15 000 something – and I still have thousands of unread messages in my message request box. So keep in mind if you’re messaging a girl that has a ton of followers, this might create kind of a challenge. I’M going to give you guys the best tips I can, but keep that in mind.

It’s going to also depend on the girl that you’re messaging and how many messages she’s getting so in regards to responding to her story. So if she posts a photo at a coffee shop, maybe you guys live in the same city. You could respond to her story and say something like do you go there often? I’ve been looking for a new coffee place. That way she knows you live in the same city as her. She knows you like coffee, and maybe you could start a conversation about meeting up with her for coffee if she responds to you. So super easy way to start the conversation. That one is great for someone that lives in your city.

I know some of you guys are messaging girls in other countries and while I think you should totally shoot your shot and go for it and I never want to discourage you, I think your chances of getting a response and being able to start a good conversation with this girl is a lot lower, because the chance of meeting up with her or being romantically involved with her is a lot lower and long-distance relationships are a whole other challenge that i haven’t even talked about yet on this site. But I will definitely get into it because I’ve been in one in the past and it sucked just being totally honest with you guys. So I have a lot to say so again here.

If you live in the same city and she posts a story with the location that she’s at you could respond to her story and say: hey you’re in my neighborhood check out blank. They have the best blank, something that you’re recommending to her and even if she doesn’t live in the same city that you live in if she’s visiting somewhere that you’ve been before. You could say the same thing and just talk about somewhere that you’ve been, that you really enjoyed, and it would just get the conversation going. So the best advice I can give you here is to use what she’s posting as a way to start a conversation with her the same way. I tell you guys, when you’re on dating apps, to use her profile as uh kind of context clues as to what you should say to her.

The same thing goes for social media, so even if she posts a photo on her feed just messaging her something that ties into that is another great option too. Showing relatability and genuine curiosity is probably the best thing that you can do. You really don’t want your message to look like it’s just a copied and pasted thing that you send to every girl. So I would really recommend kind of zoning in on what she posted. Use your context clues and come up with something from there, and I think the examples I gave are great starting points, but you’re going to want to kind of add your own flair and make it your own personal message. I promise you this is going to guarantee a response much better than commenting on her latest selfie with five emojis like every other thirsty guy is doing. This is not going to do anything but make you look bad.

The best thing you can do is go straight to the dms when it comes to commenting on her photos. I think the best thing you can do is save that for after you guys have already met. If that happens, for you, I think if you do it before you’ve even met this girl, it can often look obsessive and you’re just going to blend in with every other guy that is doing the same exact thing. you are going to want to message her something like I said, responding to her story, that’s going to get you to the top of her inbox and make you stand out from all these other guys.

Next I’m going to be talking about some dming rules, so just going through my dms on instagram, I have so much advice and so many tips. A girl is going to get a lot more messages than a guy typically does, unless he’s famous or something or a celebrity, or something like that. So keep that in mind.

There’s a ton of do’s and don’ts here. So, stick with me. Don’t bombard her with messages. That’s not how to text a girl for the first time on Instagram. I’ve talked about this before on dating apps texting. The same rule goes for social media. If you’ve responded to her stories or you’ve messaged her more than once, I would really not send a ton more messages if she just hasn’t seen your thread yet when she finally gets to it, It’s just going to look obsessive because there’s going to be a ton of messages there. So keep that in mind. If you really are trying to have this girl notice you and get romantically involved with her you’re going to want to play it cool. I’m not saying play games or do anything psychological to get her attention. I really just think you don’t want to come across looking obsessive or like all you do is send her messages on Instagram. One or two is totally fine.

You could respond to two stories if she doesn’t open the first one. I think you could maybe get away with another one, but I would keep it at that.

It leads me into my next point here, which is don’t send inappropriate photos. I shouldn’t even have to say this: it’s sad that I do, but I promise you no random girl on instagram that you’ve never met before wants to see a photo of the southern region of your body or even a selfie. I don’t think you should send a photo of yourself at all, and especially not some photos of some other weird stuff that you’re into. That’s not how to text a girl for the first time on instagram you want to keep that for later on in the relationship. Once you already know this girl, not before she even met you. I think it’s okay to send her a post or something funny that you think might make her laugh.

But whatever you do, don’t send a dick pic, don’t send a selfie of yourself just really play cool guys. Send her a message if she doesn’t reply move on to the next one. I’m just going to reiterate this here. I feel like I need to say it again, because some of you just don’t get it never ever ever send a dick pic.

My last tip here is to stay in the present, so a lot of times guys will follow a girl on social media and then they’ll go through all of her photos. They will like every photo she’s ever posted, comment on old photos. Again it just creates this kind of obsessive look for you and, if you’re trying to get romantically involved with this girl, you think you might have a chance with this girl?

The last thing you want to do is come across as obsessive or like you’re creeping on her entire life. While you may very well go back and look through every photo, that’s fine! I do that when I follow someone on instagram, I look at what they were doing five years ago on July 21st, but you don’t like it and if you accidentally like it, you don’t then go through and like more of them. Just play it cool. This is one of those things that you think will get her attention because you’re going in liking an old photo. So in her notifications, it’s going to come up as something different, but the thing is that it doesn’t get her attention necessarily in a good way unless she is attracted to you from your profile photo.

So if she’s not right off the bat attracted to your profile photo, this is not going to work out for you and I know that’s harsh, but i’m just being so honest here. So like I said this might get her attention, but it’s probably going to be in a whoa, this guy just liked every single photo I’ve ever posted on here and that’s kind of weird kind of way, rather than uh. Oh, who is this kind of thing. So the best case scenario for you is to just respond to her story. Send her a dm and do things that way. A dm is more personal. It’s going to really just increase your chances of getting a reply from her.

So just to kind of round it all out, the best things you can do are, reply to her story, maybe send her something funny in her dms, send her a post from something else. If none of that works, I would say just move on and go for someone else, especially if you’re going for a girl that has a ton of followers and probably gets a ton of attention and messages from guys. I don’t want you guys to be wasting your time on one girl if you’ve tried and it’s not working. So, if you’re really really really not wanting to give up, you could try commenting on her photo and then see if she responds to the dms that you already sent her, but don’t keep dming her, don’t keep bombarding her.

Read More: How to Ask A Girl to Hangout Over Text (STEAL THIS!)

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