Have you ever wanted to approach an attractive woman but you had no idea what to say? In this video, I’m going to share with you three conversation openers that have worked on me. So, you can use them too. All right, so it is really nerve-racking if you want to talk to somebody and you don’t know how to start a conversation. So, I’m going to give you a couple of conversation openers or icebreakers that have worked on me that I think would actually work for you as well.
They’re really simple they’re not cheesy or if they are che… You can make them cheesy. If you want to make them cheesy bonus points because then that shows that you’ve got confidence and a sense of humor.
But the first one is just hello how are you doing today? So, I have a lot of guys actually say this to me in places like coffee shops.
Like I go to a lot of coffee shops because I like coffee and it’s a really great place to be able to start conversations because you tend to be either waiting in line to order or waiting for your beverage once you have ordered. So, it’s a really easy place to be able to just say how’s your day going? But how’s your day really going?
Tell me how you really feel and a lot of times people have to actually stop and think about that because our automatic response is to just be polite and say oh, it’s good, but if you say how’s your day really going or they might answer first and then you can say okay, but how’s your day really going.
So, that’s kind of cute and if she’s having a good day then she’ll probably be more amenable to talking and if she’s not having a good day, but she’s actually got a decent personality and she wants to be cheered up then she might be okay with talking. There’s been lots of times where I’ve maybe had a cranky day and then by conversing with somebody I’ve been able to get out of that bad mood so, really it’s that simple. One, is just hey, how’s your day going? And then when either right away or once they’ve answered say but really, how’s your day really going?
And it’s kind of cute because it’s a little bit intimate and inappropriate in a way.
But because you’re saying it in a kind of a cute way then you can get away with it. And side note, don’t worry about their reaction, if they’re having a cranky day and they don’t want to be cheered up oh well, you did your best. And if they’re having a cranky life and they don’t want to cheer up then thank goodness you dodged that bullet. Okay, now here’s another one that has worked on me and I’ve actually wrote about it in my memoir, which I’ll put a link to in case you are curious about that.
And the guy actually approached me, I was in a park and I was, it was so soon and I was living in Seattle and I was reading a book I think on the grass. Yeah, I was on the grass and he came up to me and what did he say…
What are you reading?
And I kind of you know was not expecting it so I think I looked up at him and I was like I showed him my book it was about narcissists because I highly suspected that my boyfriend at the time was a narcissist and anyways. So, I kind of told him which indicated that I was friendly. He said I thought you looked like a nice person so, I thought I’d come over and say hi.
Now the reason why that works is because if someone says I think you’re a nice person so, I thought it would be safe to come over and say hi. Well, most people don’t want to be viewed as not nice so, they will at least be polite and if they’re really not interested in sharing company at that time they can say you know I just really prefer to be alone right now.
If there are any women watching this don’t be a *** if a guy approaches to you that takes a lot of guts just be kind and just be courteous and say I just prefer to be by myself right now, but thank you for having the guts to come and say hi, I hope you have a good day. Be polite you don’t have to be a jerk about it. Okay, so now back to the guys. Guys watching this, if you approach a girl and she is ordinary or not polite about it then like I say either she’s having a bad day or she’s having a bad life or she’s been approached way too many times.
And it’s just really tired of it or she has a boyfriend or whatever, don’t take it personally maybe you know wrong time for her or it may be that she’s just the wrong person to chat with.
And you’ve got to realize that the more attractive a woman is the more likely that she is approached by really aggressive types way more frequently than women who are maybe more average plain Jane’s or average looks. So, if you want to start practicing I definitely recommend to start practicing on women who are not tens in your world.
So, whatever sort of level of attractiveness you think you are at, ask your friends maybe they’ll be honest. If you don’t have friends you need to get friends. And kind of go play within your field or even a couple points lower, on the attractiveness scale because it won’t be quite as intimidating.
And not only that but if you’re better looking than the girls you’re approaching, they may be more receptive to talking to you and it’s good practice. You don’t have to go for the A-listers every single time but you really want to actually practice on the ones that are not going to be the ones that you’ll really want to date. And you know how you might actually meet someone who maybe wasn’t as attractive to you initially physically and then you get to know the person and they become more attractive and you never know what can happen from that, even if it’s just a friendship.
It’s always a good idea to have female friends because you can learn from them and you can meet their friends and if they’re halfway attractive and they’re going to have halfway attractive friends most likely as well. Oh, and that guy the last guy who approached me in the park.
We did end up going we actually went straight for lunch after we had chatted for a while. And then we ended up being friends. And I was like I said I already…
I was in it in a relationship at the time. Kind of in and out literally and figuratively because I was trying to play that out and I think we were actually not. Yeah, no, this is when I was no longer with the guy, but I was just, we just broken up and I wasn’t. I was not in the mood for a relationship. And aside from which I haven’t got to know this guy very, very quickly I knew immediately that we were not a right fit because he was ready to go to make babies and I was not interested in having children whatsoever.
So, that was an instant deal-breaker anyway regardless of anything else even though I was just really not in the right place for a relationship with anybody at that time. So, sometimes that will happen. Remember this story that I’m telling you right now. Sometimes it’s just not the right time for that person. So, it doesn’t matter who you are it’s not going to happen.
But you need to practice and get more comfortable talking to women so, that when you do meet the right person at the right time that you’re not going to blow it. Because most of the time, what happens is you don’t blow it with the ones that you can never have a chance with because they’re either, they’re just not interested or because it’s the wrong time or because they’re gay or whatever the reason is. There’s certain women that you’re going to have zero chance with and they’re going to reject you. So, it doesn’t matter if they reject you.
If you want to make sure that you’re well-practiced enough so that when you meet the one that you have a chance with that you’re not going to blow it.
Okay, so let’s get to the third example. I was actually in a coffee shop and I was sitting down and a guy just came over and literally just didn’t even really ask permission to sit down. And sat down and said I really love to chat with you, I only have a few minutes because I’m meeting a friend but I saw you over here I thought you were really attractive and do you mind if I just chat with you for a little bit? Now the reason why this could potentially work is because it’s a limited time only. She’s not going to get saddled with you for hours.
You just already said that you’r going to be leaving very shortly because you’re meeting somebody else. But you also wanted to take the chance because you didn’t want to lose the opportunity to maybe strike up a conversation with someone that you’d like to get to know better. And then you do actually have to have a short conversation and leave. Even if you don’t have anywhere to go. You pretend you have somewhere to go because that makes the look interesting because you have a life because you’re going somewhere to meet somebody and you also look very confident because you were also willing to sit down and chat with someone and go for what you might want and at least play that out.
And again, she might say no, I’m really not comfortable with that or no, I have a boyfriend or no, I’m really focusing on this. It doesn’t matter if you get the no’s. In fact the more no’s you get the happier you should be. Because the more no’s you get the closer to a yes you’re going to be. So, don’t think about it as personal rejection just think about it as practice and get out there and start talking to women.
And I’m actually going to do a separate video on how to initiate conversation online for dating apps and dating sites because it’s a little bit different and I don’t want to drag this video on too long because then you might get tired and bored and to note and some of you already have, don’t check out.
So, what were the three icebreakers that were used. Hello, how are you? You look like a nice person so, I thought I’d come over and talk to you. And three, do you mind if I just sit here for a few minutes and chat with you?
I have to go but I really didn’t want to lose this opportunity just in case I never see you again. So, which one of these are you going to try. Now don’t be shy or even if you are shy be brave.