Now, of course, women do notice looks but it’s not the only thing they notice and it’s certainly not the most important thing to women who are looking for a real relationship. Now, yes, if you’re just looking for someone that you want to hook up with. Women will also be influenced by looks initially but it’s not the main thing that will get you the girl. But if you’re looking for the potential of a relationship there are qualities that are a lot more important than just the physical and these are things that you can work on. So, the allure of mystery is part of what is attractive and it’s in fact attractive to both men and women.
So, it’s more about what you don’t say than what you do say that can appeal to and turn a woman on to wanting to get to know you better or more.
Mystery gives women something to work for. They want to get to know the secrets that you keep from the world. So, it’s kind of like you know, you want to be with a girl who will go to bed with you quickly and easily. But really there’s a part of that, that makes you feel like maybe she does that with everybody and maybe she does do that with everybody.
But if she kind of makes you kind of work for it a bit or she holds out to make sure that you actually meet her standards then you feel more special and you feel more respected and you respect her more because she does have standards.
So, the same thing goes with men having a bit of mystery. It’s the vulnerabilities, the secrets, your fears, your desires, and just basically anything about you that you don’t share with just anyone. That she will feel special if she eventually cracks the man code and finds out more about you. Cracks the man code, that reminds me of Matt Boggs.
He’s a dating coach for women. Anyways, great dating coach hey Matt Boggs. So, mystery. What not to say to get a woman attracted to you? The key is that you want to offer out crumbs of vulnerability.
You don’t want to give her access to all of your private thoughts ever actually. But you also don’t want to just spill your guts on what your fears and dreams and desires and vulnerabilities are right away. Because again, she won’t feel special but also, it happens to be a turn off for women.
So, when you do go into the vulnerability mode with a woman, which is necessary you do need to do that to some degree if you want to have *** into me see. But you don’t want to overdo it because then she’s going to get turned off.
Because she will go into maternal mode. Maternal mode is our nurturing mode, it’s basically mother motherhood role and if we’re mothering you, which feels really nice. Because it feels good to be cared for and nurtured that’s great for that moment. But you can’t make it a habit for her to see you in the light of a child. So, if you become needy or dependent or insecure then that is the same kind of behavior and character of a child.
And of course she’s not going to get turned on or be able to be attracted to you when she’s in that mode seeing you as a dependent. And women always are saying they want to know your secrets, they want to know your vulnerabilities, they want you to share.
But the reality is that when they’re in that mode it’s just not a turn-on so you just have to be careful about how much you divvy out to her with vulnerabilities. So, I actually did another video on how to balance alpha masculinity with vulnerabilities within a relationship. So, I’ll put a link below you can have a look at that.
So, now let’s get into the… What to say or what to not say when you want to attract a woman.
And these will actually apply whether you’re just courting, you’re dating or you’re in a relationship.
Some of these will apply a little bit less once you’re in a relationship but you always have to leave them wanting more even once you get in a relationship. One of the key things that happens once men nail down the girl and they’re in a committed relationship is they start taking her for granted and they stop trying to do the things that won her over to begin with.
And the reality is relationships require time, effort, and energy from the start all the way to the finish. Now, you’re probably saying okay well, that’s great once I get to know her but what if I haven’t even met her yet? How is my not saying certain things going to actually appeal to her?
Well, here’s the thing that before a woman ever actually even meets you, she establishes an impression about who you might be and these mind sets, these tips I’m about to give you are going to show up and reflect in your body language the way you carry yourself, the way you dress, the way you speak within groups or at the office or to employees or to your boss. It shows up in every area of your life. So, let’s get into it, tip number one, is not about are you good enough, but is she right enough? So, your first mindset is not about whether or not she’s going to like you but right away you have to flip the script and make it about whether or not she’s the right girl for you.
If that’s your mindset going in then you’re not going to try and impress her with things that maybe aren’t true to yourself or are maybe trying too hard.
Number two, you always need to stay centered, grounded, and masculine. Own your space, take up space. Always pretend that you are the owner or the boss of any situation you’re in. If you’re at an event, you’re the one that orchestrated it or you’re the one that sponsored it. Or just have a mindset that you’re the most important person at any event or in any space, but not in an arrogant way.
Three, be in the present. This is more like when you’re getting to know someone be in the present don’t focus on the future. As soon as you start talking about the future with someone you’ve just met it’s going to seem a little too anxious and desperate. Because you haven’t even established that she’s the right one. Go back to number one, is she the right one not does she like me.
So, you need to just stay present and be in the mindset that you’re constantly evaluating whether or not she’s the right person today right now in this moment. Four, this is a tricky one because people really want to get into the texting especially right now. But number four is texting is generally for information not conversation. So, what I mean by that is when you are going back and forth in a message or texting or messaging or what have you, you want to keep it short and sweet you usually want to be the one to end the conversation early. And escalate to the next meet up in person if you can or virtual if you can.
Like, if your whole relationship is in text then you’re not going to have much in person when you do get together and it’s going to fizzle out really fast.
So, information you know, what time we’re meeting? When we’re meeting? Shit! I’m running late or change in location or just information not conversation.
Okay, number five. Turn off read receipts you don’t want her to know when you read her message. Because she’s either going to expect a reply right away or she’s going to start wondering why you read it and not reply right away.
Or you’re going to want to reply right away and that doesn’t keep the mystery alive and it makes you look like you have no life. So, just turn off read receipts and that way she won’t even know if you’ve read her message or not.
Of course, this is wherever it’s possible. Number six, okay, now, once you get into the mindset you won’t need to go by these kind of rules. But these are guidelines for if you’ve been too anxious in the past and maybe blew it by being overly attentive. So, a rule of thumb for texting is don’t text while you’re working, don’t reply to text while you’re working, make that your mandate you’re committed to your work. Women love men who can commit to something important, work is important.
So, don’t text back while you’re at work. If you have a break, great text back on your break. Or if you, you know work for yourself or you’re not working then wait an hour, give yourself an hour before replying to her first initiated text. After that you can have maybe a short conversation and then move on. But if she’s just messaging you initially for the day or the week or whatever then wait an hour and don’t text back after nine doesn’t matter if she sees it or doesn’t see it.
She’s not going to see that you’ve actually read her message. So, after nine you’re busy, she doesn’t know what you’re up to or who you’re up to with. And what does that do? That creates potential competition. That creates mystery, that creates the desire for her to chase, you pace she chase.
Okay, next one, again, number seven is don’t reveal everything all at once. You don’t want to reveal you know, all your life long dreams and plans your future hopes and your feelings about everything.
You want to hold back a little bit again, that’s just for mystery. And you know really you should be in the mindset where people need to earn a trust to learn more about you. Which again brings me to number eight.
Always leave them wanting more. So, that’s the key, always leave them wanting more just when she wants to know a little bit more maybe you don’t actually answer every single question. And you leave a few off and you know then you can answer them at a later time, you get to choose but you’re allowed to have boundaries then it’s healthy and attractive to have boundaries.
You don’t have to say this is a boundary, but I mean you can if you need to. But by just moving on to a different topic that leaves a little mystery you’re not telling her every single thing that she asks about and you’re not over sharing on your own every single thing.
Number nine, playful teasing keeps you out of the friend zone. So, you don’t have to actually say anything to be able to tease if especially if you’re like with each other in person you can you know wink at her or sort of touch her elbow, you have to be careful with touching. I’ve done videos on where to touch a girl.
You can look for those links below. But the key is that you need to keep playfulness, teasing, flirting in your interactions because if not then you are going to end up in the friend zone.
And it is more difficult to get out of the friend zone than to avoid getting in it. I’ve also done a playlist on the friend zone. You can watch that I’ll put a link below. Ten, what else not to say. Don’t talk about your exes.
She’s going to want to know at some point more about your exes. You can reveal a little bit later on as you get to know her and maybe when you’re closer to being in a relationship you can reveal a little bit more.
She wants to know what you were like in your previous relationship. And if you’re carrying baggage from it or if you know your choices were not very good. Or if you got your heart broken and how committed can you be.
So, there’s a bunch of reasons why she legit wants to know about your past relationships. But you don’t want to reveal very much about them initially because early on she’s going to make assumptions that might not be fair because she’s protecting herself. So, she’ll go to every worse case scenario in her mind. So, the best thing you can do is just say I haven’t met the right one yet, which brings me to number eleven. Never trash talk anyone.
So, this isn’t just about your ex. We’ll start with your ex like, you definitely don’t want to be trash talking your ex because what happens even if your ex is absolutely awful and you know, maybe it was her that did everything wrong. What happens if you trash talk your ex is that it makes you look like you either don’t take any accountability or responsibility for the relationship, which honestly that is true.
And the second thing is that if it is even true that your ex is actually a horrible person could be true then there is a question mark in her mind about your ability to make sane decisions. So, the best thing you can do is just say just wasn’t the right fit waiting for the right one or something to that effect.
So, nothing that’s going to dis the person but at the same time it also doesn’t take away from you potentially having taken responsibility for whatever went wrong in that relationship and later on you can reveal a little bit more. But still keep it respectful even if the person was really bad. Focus on the actions not name calling or character traits and as well the same goes with trash talking anyone. You don’t want to trash talk anyone because it just has the same effect, it makes you look like the weak person actually.
So, that brings me to number 12.
Take a hundred percent responsibility for your actions and your life. So, no matter what happens. Sometimes there’s things that happen to us that we have absolutely no control over, but the way we handle it reveals a lot more about our character than what actually happened. So, if you can take responsibility, so for example, if we use the example of having a really bad ex that maybe she was a narcissist or maybe she was whatever. If you actually say I made a wrong choice in choosing to be with her, that’s still taking responsibility and it’s true.
And it’s not putting the blame anywhere else because that is the truth, right.
you do have to be the one responsible for the choices you’ve made and haven’t made. So, some of the things that you’re not revealing, the things that you’re not seeing are going to be more appealing to women than again, over sharing. And again, remember you are the prize. If you remember that then it will prevent you from putting her on a pedestal.
Because if you put her on a pedestal, she’ll look down on you.
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